The Kingdom Family, Part 4:
Becoming a Kingdom Wife
- Ephesians 5:22-24
This week Dr. Evans continued his series of sermons entitled “The Kingdom Family.” Because the family is designed by God to rule over His creation (Genesis 1:27-28), we are studying together how the different roles in a family work together to advance God’s rule on earth. This week we looked at the role of kingdom wives who are called, according to Ephesians 5:22, to “…be subject to their own husbands, as to the Lord.” The idea of a wife being subject or being in submission to her husband has become a politically incorrect idea in our society because of the perception that the principle of submission is used to oppress and subjugate women. However, this instinctive reaction to the idea of submission is largely due to a misunderstanding of how the Bible defines submission and the part that submission plays in God’s kingdom purposes for the family. To counter this misunderstanding, Dr. Evans offered a Biblical definition of submission, gave the proper context for submission, and illustrated how submission can be best demonstrated in the life of a kingdom wife.
- The Biblical Definition of Submission. Submission can be defined as placing oneself under the authority of another. However, in the Bible this concept of submission to authority is not exclusively applied to the role of the wife. In 1 Corinthians 11:3, the apostle Paul stated, “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of woman, and God is the head of Christ.” Everyone in the kingdom of God, (except God as the ultimate ruler), functions under submission to another authority source. Note that even Christ who as a member of the Trinity is equal to God the Father still submits to God as his “head.” The relationship of submission therefore has nothing to do with inferiority. Jesus submitted in obedience to the Father not because of inequality but for the purpose of achieving God’s plan for our salvation. This is also true of the relationship of submission between the wife and her husband. Because they are both created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), they share the same essence; therefore, the wife is not by nature inferior to her husband. Any distinctions that the Bible makes concerning the roles within a marriage and family are therefore distinctions of function not of essence. God’s kingdom agenda is accomplished through a divine chain of command in which each member of this partnership must take up his or her God-ordained function in submission to his or her God-ordained head or authority.
- The Proper Context of Submission. Because of this chain of command in God’s kingdom, the context for the wife’s submission to her husband is that she submits to him “…as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). This means that her calling is to follow the lead of her husband as he follows the lead of Christ. When the wife refuses to follow the lead of her husband, she is not only in rebellion to him, but she is also in rebellion to Christ. A wife should therefore view her submission to her husband as a foundational piece in her relationship to God. This is not about just liking what direction the husband gives or agreeing on a particular issue; it is about obeying the Lord. To illustrate this concept, Dr. Evans gave the example of an umbrella, noting that the husband brings his wife out of the rain, covering her with the umbrella under which he is covered. This also means that the husband should not be surprised if his wife finds it difficult to submit to his authority if he is not in submission to Christ. A husband cannot expect his wife to follow his lead if he is asking her to do things that are contrary to God’s Word. Every kingdom wife should be able to say to her husband, “I recognize that God has made you the head of our home. I am going to honor you and follow your leading. I only ask that you not lead me away from Christ.”
- The Demonstration of Submission. 1 Peter 3:1 mirrors the command in Ephesians 5:22 by stating, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands….” However, this verse goes on to state that even a husband who is disobedient to God’s Word can be won over by the wife’s demonstration of “…chaste and respectful behavior.” The submission of a wife to her husband through the demonstration of respect for his position can have a powerful effect on her husband that goes beyond any words she may say to him. Dr. Evans noted that some men may have a long way to go on their road to becoming kingdom men, but their wives are called to be their “helpmates,” (Genesis 2:20) not their “hurt-mates.” A kingdom wife can be a great help and encouragement to her husband as he observes her respect for him. He will be convicted by the beauty of her “gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:4).
In conclusion, Dr. Evans observed that in the fairytale “The Beauty and the Beast,” the angry, aggressive, and cruel behavior of the beast is slowly transformed through the kindness and respect given to him by “the beauty.” Through her love, the curse is reversed and the kingdom is renewed, as the beast becomes a prince. A kingdom wife who understands the true definition of submission practices this submission within the context of obedience to God and demonstrates this submission through respect for her husband. As our society strains to define what the proper role is for a woman in her home and her world, let’s be certain to listen first to the voice of Scripture. As kingdom women enter into their Biblical function within their families, they will find their role not diminished or demeaned. Instead, their impact will be multiplied as they take up their part in advancing God’s kingdom agenda for this world.
- Dr. Evans noted that a woman should view submission as a foundational piece in her relationship to God. Do you view submission as connected to your spiritual growth and intimacy with God? How can the lack of submission affect your relationship to God?
- What are some ways a wife can model “chaste and respectful behavior” to her husband?
- Are there circumstances that warrant not following the lead of your husband and submitting to his authority?
- Last week we learned that one of the roles of a kingdom husband is to act as the wife’s “sanctifier.’ Read 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 where this impact of a chaste, respectful wife is described as “sanctification.” In what ways can a wife also act as a “sanctifier” in the life of her family?
- Dr. Evans noted that a woman is designed to be a “helpmate” to her husband not his “hurt-mate.” Proverbs 31:10-31 gives a picture of a virtuous wife who is a great help to her husband and family. Read through this passage. What are some of the ways that the woman helps her husband? What are some of her distinctive virtues and characteristics?
- Dr. Tony Evans, The Kingdom Agenda.
- Dr. Tony Evans, Kingdom Man: Every Man’s Destiny, Every Woman’s Dream.
- Dr. Tony Evans, Marriage Matters.
- Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free.
- Elisabeth Eliot, Let Me Be a Woman
- Andreas Kostenberger God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation
- Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?
- John Piper, What’s the Difference?: Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible
- Craig S. Keener, Paul, Women, and Wives: Marriage and Women’s Ministry in the Letters of Paul.
- Lynn H. CohickWomen in the World of the Earliest Christians: Illuminating Ancient Ways of Life.
2012 Weekly Devotions
Understanding the Kingdom Agenda Sermon Series
Part 1 - The Concept of a Kingdom Agenda
Part 2 - The Need for the Kingdom Agenda
Part 3 - The Lord of the Kingdom Agenda
Part 4 - The Covenant of the Kingdom Agenda
Part 5 - The Spheres of the Kingdom Agenda
Part 6 - The Authority of the Kingdom Agenda
Living for the Kingdom Sermon Series
Part 1 - The Priority of the Kingdom
Part 2 - The Blessings of the Kingdom
Part 3 - The Impact for the Kingdom
Part 4 - The Calling of the Kingdom
Part 5 - The Stewardship of the Kingdom
Part 6 - The Power of the Kingdom
The Kingdom Family Sermon Series
Part 1 - The Divine Purpose of Family
Part 2 - Raising Kingdom Kids
Part 3 - Becoming a Kingdom Husband
Single Sermons
Our Great Salvation
The Good News - Easter 2012
Click here to view the 2011 Archive
